Don’t Just Do It, Say It

I love what Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:13-14: Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. But I especially like the admonishment that Paul gives in 1 Thessalonians 5:15: Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

Can you imagine how our lives would change if we incorporated that one Biblical principle into our lives? Think of the families that would be reunited. Think of the friends that would embrace once again. Think of the brothers and sisters who would talk again. Think of the neighbors who would have a relationship again. Think of the energy we would save just by getting rid of our anger and our desire for revenge.

But do you know what that would require? It would require each of us to be willing to give the gift of forgiveness to the individual who hurt us. By the way, I consider forgiveness a gift because you can’t even say, “forgiveness,” without saying the word, “give.” It is the greatest gift that you will ever give to anyone. But for the offending party to experience the joy and peace that comes from experiencing your forgiveness, it will require that you communicate your forgiveness to the person you are forgiving. Now, I realize that the Bible teaches that when we forgive, it’s not for the person that did the offending; forgiveness is for the person that has been offended. In other words, by cancelling the debt, we unshackle ourselves to the hurt and pain of the past so we can move forward with our life in peace. But I also know that the Bible teaches that we’re to forgive as God has forgiven us. Aren’t you glad that God didn’t forgive us just so He could be at peace with Himself? He forgave us so that we can also experience the peace and joy of being forgiven.

Now, I’ll warn you ahead of time that sometimes you will offer the gift of forgiveness but the recipient will refuse to accept it. Part of the reason is that some people just like being miserable. They love the drama. And if that’s the case, don’t worry about it. That’s why Paul wrote in Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with everyone.” Just remember that reconciliation can’t always be the goal when you forgive. Sometimes the relationship won’t be reconciled, but you still do what God commands you to do.

So let me ask you: Who needs to hear from you that you have forgiven them for the hurt and pain they caused you? Who needs to know that you have made the choice to cancel the debt that they created in your life? You have the potential to change the trajectory of someone’s life today. Give the gift. See what God will do.

One more thing: Maybe the person who needs forgiveness is you. Maybe, like me, you have been the offender, not the offended. But what do you do when the person you hurt refuses to forgive you and cancel the debt? Well, you go before God and say, “God, you know that I’m just dust. I’ve failed you by the hurt and pain that I caused this individual, but I lay my wrong before you. And by your grace and mercy, it will never happen again. I claim your forgiveness and peace, and I release the guilt and the shame.” And then after you have left it with God, you move on with your life. That may sound over simplified, but it’s the only way I know to live free from the failures and offenses of the past. The only other alternative is a defeated life.

David understood the importance of this process when he wrote in Psalm 51:7, “...wash me and I will be whiter than snow.” If you haven’t made peace with your past, there is no way you can flourish in your future. The past will continue to come up again and again until you nail it to the cross. You can’t beat a clear conscience and a clean heart.

The Principle Of Priority

Most of us are familiar with the first of the ten commandments that’s found in Exodus 20:3: You shall have no other gods before me. And on the surface, the commandment seems pretty simple and straightforward, but I’ve been around Christians long enough to know how most of us think...and I know that we’re always looking for a loophole. For example, when it says, “You shall have no other gods before me,” some of you are thinking, “Sounds to me like it’s okay to have other gods like my money or my career or my kids or my boat just as long as those things aren’t first in line!” Sorry, but that’s not what the commandment is saying. God was saying, “You shall have no other gods – period!” And I say that because the Hebrew word translated, “before,” appears in the Old Testament over a thousand times, but it’s only translated, “before,” a few times. Most of the time the word is translated “besides.” So think of the commandment this way: “You shall have no other gods besides me.” In other words, God is saying, “I want to be your number one priority,” and you can see how this principle of priority plays out throughout the entire Bible.

For example, when the Hebrew people moved into the Promised Land, the first city they had to conquer was the city of Jericho. As they prepared themselves to take the city, God told the Israelites, “After you conquer the city, bring all of the silver and gold from Jericho into the house of God.” Why did God say that? It’s because Jericho was the first city (it was the principle of priority). Later on God said, “The firstborn of all your flocks and herds belongs to me.” Why did He say that? It’s the principle of priority. He didn’t say, “When your sheep has new lambs, you can wait until you have ten, and then give me the runt of the litter.” He said, “Give me the first one before you have the other nine.” God said, “When you have a harvest, give the first fruits to me. Don’t pay all of your bills first and then see if you have enough left over. Give me the first fruits.” In fact, this is the reason God accepted Abel’s offering, but He didn’t accept Cain’s offering. Cain didn’t give his first fruits. My point is, this principle of priority runs all through Bible. God basically says, “Life only works the way it’s supposed to work when you put me first in every area of your life.”

Jesus reiterates the same thing in Matthew 6:31-33: “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” In other words, God knows that we now live in a period of time where we need to make plans for retirement and college and a mortgage and life insurance. He’s aware of the culture we live in. But Jesus says, “Put God first, and all of these things will fall into place.”

There’s a cool story in 1 Kings 17 where there’s a famine in the land. And so God tells Elijah, “Go to Zarephath — there’s a widow there that will provide for you.” And so Elijah shows up at this widow’s house and he asks her for some water and she gives it to him). And then he asks her for some bread, and I want you to see her response in 1 Kings 17:12-15: “As surely as the Lord your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread— only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die.” Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’” She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family.

Isn’t that amazing? When this single mom obeyed the first commandment and practiced this principle of priority, God blessed her in ways she never saw coming. And in the same way, when we obey this commandment and live out the principle of priority, we get a front row seat as God shows up and does His thing. And when God shows up, it takes our relationship with Him to a whole new level; our trust in God goes through the roof.

Remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:33: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Does that describe the priority that you’ve placed on your relationship with God? Remember what God says, “Life only works the way it’s supposed to work when you put me first in every area of your life.”

Searching for Significance

Two of the many aspects that I love about God is that He is so loving and He’s so forgiving. He loves us when we’re not very lovable and He forgives us when we don’t seem very forgivable. But the one aspect of God that blows my mind is how accepting He is of us. And it blows my mind because, let’s be honest, most of us would have to admit that when we became Christians, we weren’t very acceptable. But God didn’t ask us to change anything. He just went ahead and accepted us just as we were. He reached out and received us to Himself, and then we started making changes. I realize the audience that I am addressing is mostly made of up of individuals who have accepted Jesus as their Savior, and that’s awesome! But did you realize that Jesus has accepted you? Many Christians never fully grasp the beauty of the simple truth: “Jesus has accepted me!” And because we fail to embrace that incredible truth, we often spend our lives trying to find acceptance through a lot of things, don’t we? We strive for things like power or prestige or pleasure. And we think, “Surely this will satisfy and end my search for significance.” Or maybe you assume that you can find true esteem in a relationship. So you get a dating app and you eventually meet someone and you think, “This person will fulfill and meet all of my needs.” And you begin to date and eventually you get married, but after a while, things begin to go south. And you think to yourself, “Something is missing; I’ll just walk away from this relationship and find someone else,” and the cycle begins all over again.

I hate to be the one to break the news to you, But Solomon made it very clear in his journal that we know as The Book of Ecclesiastes that if you are chasing power or prestige or pleasure, it it will lead you nowhere. It’s like chasing the wind. Those things will never satisfy or bring significance. And if you’re looking for significance through relationships, you’re going to be disappointed as well. You’re placing pressure and responsibility and expectations on another human being’s shoulders that only God can meet. Instead, you have to come to terms with who you are before God, and then and only then will you find true significance. And, so I want share with you two principles that will help you if you struggle in this area of significance.

1st: God thinks about you every second on every day. In fact, from the moment that He made you, God has been thinking about you. He can’t get you off of His mind. In fact, here are some verses that are worth memorizing for those times when you begin to question and doubt your self-worth and significance.

Psalm 139:1-6: You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Isaiah 43:1: But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Isaiah 49:16: See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.

Luke 12:7: Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

2nd: You are so important to God that you cost Him His very own Son. Every time you see a cross, remember that it’s a symbol of significance. Remind yourself that it’s symbolic of what Jesus did for you. Paul put it this way in Romans 5:8: But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. If you feel insignificant today, meditate that mind-blowing truth.

Do you trust Me?!

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found on Luke 5:1-5: One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God, he saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon (Peter), and asked him to put out a little from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and we haven’t caught anything.” And that’s what Peter said, but this is what he was really thinking: “Jesus, you may be a pretty good carpenter, but you don’t know squat about fishing. You fish with nets at night because it’s cool and the fish are near the surface! No offense Jesus, but now’s not the time to go fishing.”

And we read that and smile and think, “How stupid are these guys to question Jesus,” but we do the same thing in our lives everyday. For example, “Jesus, I know what you have to say about giving, but have you looked at my financial situation?” Or, “I know what you have to say about forgiveness, but have you met my boss? I mean, I know you’re smart and all, but I might be smarter than you on this one.” Do you ever feel that way? But I have to give it to Simon based on how he responded in Luke 5:5: Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” In other words, “Jesus, if it was anybody else, I’d throw them out of the boat. But since you’d just walk on the water, let’s go fishing.”

Luke 5:6-11 says: When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

Now understand, as a Christian, this is God’s pattern for our lives. Jesus comes along and gives us evidence after evidence that He’s trustworthy and at some point he going to say, “Now, I want you trust me; I’m asking you to go all in.” And at that moment, from our perspective, it’s a huge gamble because we know what we’re giving up, but we don’t know what we’re getting in return. I mean, if we look at it from Peter’s perspective, think about the risk. For example, “Jesus, I would love to follow you, but I still owe 15 more payments on these boats. Plus, I’m a 4th generation fishermen – my reputation is at stake. On top of that, I’m going to lose a lot of market share in the fishing industry. Jesus, at least try to see it from my perspective. There’s a great deal of risk to leave everything and follow you.”

But think about it from Jesus’ perspective: “Peter, if you don’t do this, think of what you’re going to miss out on. People will name their kids after you...forever. Cathedrals will be named after you – not to mention that I will use you to change the world. People will read about you and be encouraged by you. You’d be a fool not to follow me.” Do you see? It’s just a difference in perspective. And it’s because when God asks us to trust Him, the only thing we’re sure of is what’s in our hand. All we’re sure of is what we think we need to be happy and fulfilled. But God is going, “Just trust Me, because I will never take anything from you that I won’t replace with something that’s so much better. In fact, if you’ll just trust Me, you’ll look back one day and say, ‘I can’t believe I almost missed that!’”

As I think back on the times that God asked me to let go of something I really wanted to hang onto, looking back, it was no big sacrifice. Don’t get me wrong; when I was in the middle of it, it was my whole world. But now I look back and I think, “That wasn’t a sacrifice – in fact, that was the best move I ever made in my life. In the same way, I guarantee you that as Peter, James and John look down from heaven, they don’t consider leaving those boats on the seashore a sacrifice. From their perspective now, that was just a good deal. And it’s because God will never ask us to give up something that He doesn’t replace with something better. But the ball is always in our court. God waits for us to trust Him and make the first move. You see, the issue isn’t what’s in our hand; it’s not what we have. The issue is, “Is God trustworthy?”

I hear stories every week of Christians who spent years wrestling with God over things like relationships, money and dreams. And they’re totally exhausted because they’ve worn themselves out pursuing what they thought they needed to be happy. And they’ve finally come to the place where they’re ready to say, “God, I don’t want a substitute; I want the real thing.” And I know that God is loving and patient and kind, but when He hears that he must think, “Awesome – but why did it take 10 years for you to get here? Why didn’t you just trust Me from day one?”

Just like with the disciples, we see God in action every day. Just go outside and you’ll be reminded that we’re living on a ball of dirt hanging in the middle of nowhere 93 million miles from the sun. If we were 1% closer, we’d fry like an ant under a magnifying glass. If we were 1% further away, we’d be popsicles. On top of that, it rotates every 24 hours right on schedule. Nobody gets up in morning worrying about whether or not the sun is going to come up. Nobody looks out the curtains and says, “There it is – guess I’ll get dressed and go to work.” We’ve seen Him in action, and He’s proven Himself over and over.

So what area in your life is God is asking you to trust Him? And from your perspective, it may seem risky to say, “Yes,” but it’s far riskier to say, “No.” Because you have a loving Heavenly Father who has your best interest in mind. And to be obedient and follow Him will cost you -- but not to obey and follow will cost you far, far more. Would you be wise enough to say, “God, I’m going to take my focus off of what’s in my hand, and I’m going to focus on your character and faithfulness. I’m going to be like the disciples – I’ve seen enough proof; I’m going to trust you.” When you do that, your fear will intersect with God’s faithfulness, and you’ll experience God like never before. In fact, you’ll discover that there’s a whole new world, adventure that God has designed especially for you. But you’ll never see or experience it until you actually trust Him.

But God….

What a difference a year makes. A year ago at Christmas, I was as low as a human can possibly be. Because of decisions I had made, my world came crashing down around me. I lost everything: my family, my friends, my job, my reputation, my security, my self-respect. I had destroyed every important thing in my life. There’s an old saying, “If you have your health you have everything,” but I had lost that too as I was in a battle with cancer. To make matters worse, it was Christmas. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Christmas. I love giving gifts. I love decorating the yard to the point that you can see it from space. I love the parties and the good cheer. I loved doing all of the Christmas Eve services at church. No matter how many services we did, it was never enough. The more, the merrier. Last year there was none of that. It was life at its worst. I woke up on Christmas morning in a one bedroom apartment all alone. What few friends I had were busy with their own families. There were no Christmas Eve services. There were no gifts. There were no parties. There was no place where I was welcome. To add to my woes, I spent a good part of Christmas day in the emergency room due to complications of my cancer. On that day, I fought off the darkest thoughts I had ever had in my life. They were thoughts that I didn’t know that I was even capable of having. Solomon nailed it when he said, “The way of the transgressor is hard.” On Christmas Day, 2021, I was ready to grab a bottle of bourbon and pull my car into the garage, close door and end it all…but God. Don’t get me wrong, things didn’t change over night, but over this past year I have experienced the faithfulness of God like few people will ever experience it. I learned firsthand that when I am at my worst, God is at His best. Don’t just read those words; let them sink in. It was through all the mess and chaos that I had brought on myself that God showed up in ways I never dreamed possible. It’s why I chronicled the journey in my book, Death by Church; Life Through Christ. I can attest to the fact that there is hope for the hopeless. Whatever situation you find yourself in this Christmas God has not forsaken you; He has not given up on you; He is not finished with you. He is drawing near to you even if you have drawn away from Him. He is leaning into you even if you are leaning away from Him. He has a plan for you. He has a future with your name on it. It may be different than what you had planed but maybe that’s a good thing. I promise you this: If God is in it, it will be your best life because it’s His best life for you. God gave us a Savior that first Christmas, not just to save us for eternity, but to save us now. Let Him rescue you. It’s His specialty.